The “They” in the Way

Luke 19:3, 4

And he sought to see Jesus who he was; and could not for the press, because he was of little stature. And he ran before, and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him; for he was to pass that way.

Mark 2:4

And when they could not come night unto him for the press, they uncovered the roof where he was and when they had broken it up, they let down the bed wherein the sick of the palsy lay.

Mark 5:27, 28

When she had heard of Jesus, came in the press behind, and touched his garment. For she said, If I may but touch his clothes, I shall be whole.

“They” is a pronoun we hear a lot to refer to a group of people in general. A lot of times the general “they” is responsible for all sorts of negative action preventing a person from what they would otherwise do. In the three texts above, the “they” is referred to as the “press” or crowd stood between the person or group and their intended goal, which was in all three cases to see Jesus.

Each person or group in these three situations encountered the crowd and had to make a decision about whether they would abandon their pursuit or find a way to get to Jesus in spite of the hindrances in their paths. Let’s take a look at each story:

Zacchaeus

Zacchaeus was a public official. The scripture says that he was very rich. He was also short in stature. Upon hearing the commotion about Jesus passing by, Zacchaeus had a curiosity and a desire to see Jesus, but because he was so short and the crowd was so large, it was impossible for him to see over the crowd of people. When faced with this obstacle, Zacchaeus could either abandon his curiosity and go about his business– after all it was just a passing thought, or he could find a way to still see Jesus despite the crowd.

In order to continue his pursuit, it was going to require more effort than just a passing attempt. If Zacchaeus wanted to see Jesus, it was going to require some sacrifice on his part. It would test him to prove just how badly he wanted to see him. Zacchaeus would have to commit. So as the story goes, Zacchaeus ran ahead of the crowd and climbed a tree on the route that they were to walk by. It wasn’t so important to him to be seen by Jesus, but merely to be able to see him as he walked by.

What was the sacrifice in Zacchaeus’ actions? Zacchaeus was a rich man of notoriety, well-known in the community. He was someone of status. For him to take off running ahead of the crowd and then climb up a tree required him to lay aside all of his social status and pride concerning how he was viewed by other people. He had to become as a child, as only a child would be out climbing trees and such. But for Zacchaeus it didn’t seem to matter; all he wanted in that moment was to see Jesus.

As it turns out it wasn’t a passing fancy or curiosity, but God himself had orchestrated these circumstances to lead to Zacchaeus having an encounter with this Jesus who he sought to see. The crowd was an obstacle, but God was the orchestrator of the obstacle. It was all a part of God’s set up to bring Zacchaeus to a life-changing moment that day. So we discover it was never about “they” or “them” it was God who used them to cause a decision to be made and a pursuit to begin.

Four Men

Next is the story of four men carrying a paralytic to Jesus. They heard Jesus was preaching in a home and these four men somehow got together to carry the paralyzed man to see Jesus. the Bible doesn’t say that they were friends or family to each other or the sick man, just that they somehow got together and determined to carry him to Jesus. He had a lot more at stake than Zacchaeus as he had hopes of being healed. It wasn’t just a passing thought for him, he hoped that this venture would result in a whole new life. For whatever reason, four men were willing to carry this sick man all the way to where Jesus was so that he could be healed. Perhaps they, too, wanted to witness this miracle.

But it just so happened that when they arrived, the house was already so packed that they could not fit through the door with the man on his bed. Once again, it was time for a decision. They had come all this way for one purpose, should they give up and go back home? Should they just leave the man there and hope that maybe he could catch Jesus on the way out? Or do they stick together and figure it out?

The crowd challenged their unity and ability to work together, to keep believing and speaking the same thing, and to keep trying until they saw the result they were seeking. The opposite of these would be to fall apart, to start bickering and arguing, and to criticize instead of cooperating. Ultimately, their efforts and commitment paid off. The Bible says Jesus saw their faith! He didn’t just see their actions and hard work to get the man in front of Jesus, but he saw the faith behind the action. So the obstacle presented by the crowd was a tool of God to cause this group to elevate their faith to the level that it was seen by Jesus in their extraordinary action. No doubt Jesus could see them outside of the house while he was in the house. He saw their frustration and struggle trying to get to him. He didn’t make it easier or provide any sign for encouragement, but he required them to work and bring their faith up to meet him where he was. He knew what was in each of them and that they had each been given a measure of faith. This was an opportunity for them to work and demonstrate their faith and see what God would do in response. He did not disappoint. They all witnessed a miracle of the man being healed and walking away in his own power.

The Woman with the Issue

This woman had been sick for 12 years and was at the end of her resources. Going to see Jesus was her last resort. It would seem that she had a hard enough way to go just mustering the strength to even go out to meet Jesus, but she too, was met by the crowd in the way. The crowd tried to prevent her weak and frail body from pressing through to Jesus, but the dire circumstance she was in must have strengthened her resolve. It was a significant challenge as she didn’t belong amongst other people with her issue, she was weak and did not have a whole lot of strength to begin with, and she risked being humiliated, judged and degraded… OR WORSE. But instead of focusing on who was in the way, she focused on why she was there. She made up her mind that Jesus had the answers she sought and she needed only to reach him. With what was probably her last ounce of strength, she reached out and barely touched the border of his clothes, and that’s all it took. She began to gain strength from that moment, and she knew in herself she was healed! Jesus confirmed it and told her that it was her faith that had made her whole.

The Lesson of These Three Encounters

It’s easy to focus on other people that we can see as a reason for our problems, delays, and frustrations, but God allows what he allows to bring out of us a new level of faith, ability, trust, function and freedom. It’s NEVER them, it’s always HIM!

All That Is Within Me

Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name Psalms 103:1

For every part of us, every thing within us, there is a corresponding attribute or characteristic of God for that thing to bow to in worship and adoration. Everything in us finds its purpose in service to God. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t belong within us and is likely the source of our struggle to serve God. Any part of us that does not find itself at the altar, bowing in worship and adoration to God its Creator will ultimately find itself out of the will of God, expressing itself in a way other than what God intended, and bowing before an idol of some sort.

“Every part of us” includes our intelligence, personality, passion, sexuality, experiences, motives… and the list goes on. We were created for his glory, and when his glory is not central, we are unfulfilled. Ever searching, seeking meaning, peace and balance… trying various activities, mimicking happiness externally but never filling the void on the inside.

It can be drowned out at times, but when things settle down and we are alone with our thoughts, our inner self screams, cries and longs for the God who created it for his purpose. The soul longs for its source. The replacement “junk food” offered in the world as sustenance for the soul has proven problematic. Just like in our natural bodies, the ill-effects don’t show up right away, but create long term, life threatening disease.

The cure feels simple and looks insufficient on the surface, it even feels foreign if you’ve never really functioned in the way God intended. It is simple because when something operates how it was created and works within the scope of the purpose for which it was intended, it just fits without forcing it or making a lot of production. No pretense, no manipulation. Just simple humanity plugged into its source which brings life, power, purpose and focus to our wandering. People spend their whole lives searching for that kind of peace and unity within!

The world has many suggestions for where to begin finding meaning or resetting a life that has gone off course. I suggest consulting the manufacturer and the manual.

It’s An Investment

But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,

bless them that curse you, and pray for the which despitefully use you.

And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.

Luke 6:27, 28, 31

I’ve always found “Love your enemies” to be a noble but difficult concept when applied to every day life. On the surface, I don’t really consider people to be my enemies, but when I examine things more closely, I definitely come across some antagonists on the daily; in traffic, at work, while shopping– there are those whose actions evoke my ire or at the very least I feel prompted to respond according to what I feel they “deserve”. Sometimes I want to shoot off a smart comment, or give them a dose of their own medicine… I’m sure I’m the only one.

But being a follower of Christ, when I pray or reflect on my actions in those times when my response was unkind or negative, I feel that conviction and I know there is work to do. I’ve whined to God numerous times in those moments that people seem to want to treat you just any kind of way and it’s VERY HARD to just take it or let it go.

Today I was reading Luke’s account of The Beatitudes where Jesus begins to teach more in-depth than other accounts about how to treat your enemies– how to be consistently generous and loving despite how you are treated. He said something that really stood out to me:

But love ye your enemies, and do good and lend hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful… give and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over… For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

Luke 6:35-38 (excerpts)

Our responses to the actions and treatment of others really have nothing to do with them at all. Our lifestyle, including these responses, is an offering of worship to God– a part of our relationship with Him. He says in these scriptures that if we make this investment with him, we will surely see a return in the future. An investment by nature is a voluntary loss now in hopes of greater gain at a later time. I forsake what I could enjoy now, realizing that those resources can be put elsewhere and produce benefits later. It was never about being a doormat, or people violating me and getting away with it. It’s about having a sure promise from the Father that if I respond in the way He commands, He will reward me greatly on the back end! In doing so, He is glorified and the Light of Christ shines so that the Kingdom of God may advance here and now in the earth!

But all of that is God’s business.

I find it easier to focus on Him and what he asks of me, viewing my responses as a direct response to Him and his commands and promises. Unlike other investments, this is a sure thing, because God is faithful. Your investment will pay dividends through God’s favor on your life here, and the great eternal rewards awaiting you when your life here if finished. Of all the investments one can make, this is the most valuable.

Creative License: Trusting God

As a creative, I find that I do my best work when the client trusts my process. The more restrictions they give me, the more difficult it is for me to create something that will please us both. I’ve even found in these situations it’s likely that both parties will end up disappointed in the end result. Sometimes a person doesn’t want to let go of the reins and although they can’t create the finished product themselves, they want to be involved in every step and micromanage the process. Instead of reaching their desired result, they have a frustrated creator and a lackluster outcome.

On the other hand, when someone doesn’t have a picture of the finished product, they just bring their need and trust the designer to make something that will be beautiful in their eyes and maybe even more than what they anticipated. This allows the freedom that excites the artist; it removes the boundaries and can give way to crazy concepts, colors, and approaches that are fresh and unique.

This morning I thought about all of this in terms of the Master Creator. God designed each of us uniquely with all sorts of intricate details that make up who we are and influence who we are to become. Often I come to God with a framework of where I want to go in life and what I want to accomplish, and while I pray to Him and call him Sovereign, I refuse to let go of what I want and how I feel things need to happen for me. I imagine God feeling a little like I feel in the situation. He has all of the tools, vision and experience and actually knows the best way to go about creating the beauty and fulfillment I so desperately want in life, but I have difficulty letting go of how I envision it and the outcome I feel I need to be successful, happy, or complete.

When I use the term “Creative License” I’m not insinuating that God needs our permission to do anything, rather that when we hold “how we see it” so tightly, we don’t allow ourselves to receive what God knows will truly fulfill and satisfy us. After all, he designed us in the first place. God is infinite, all-powerful, has all knowledge and understanding, and yes, He’s sovereign, which means that there is so much outside of what we can see and figure. The scope of God’s plan is bigger than we can imagine and takes into account things well outside the small sphere of our understanding.

A lot of our ideas about what we need to accomplish and what we should be, come from comparing ourselves to others, listening to other people pronounce their thoughts and ideas about what is good for us, and just our vast intake of ideas and norms that shape our thinking about what is most important in life. Even our relationship with God is often restricted by how we think he should deal with us based on how he deals with someone else or how we think we should feel in a given situation based on how we perceive the experiences of others.

God says, “I know the plans I have for you; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. But it’s so difficult to trust during the process of the plan, because our ideas often paint a different picture than the small view we currently have of God’s plan. If you ever watch a sculptor or a painter, a baker, or any creative during their process, most of them don’t even want you to see their work until it is complete. During the process, you may reject the work entirely because it doesn’t look like what you desire. All of the parts haven’t come together yet, and until they do it is often more of a mess than you’d imagine. Many times it looks like it’s just not going to turn out.

Our lives are like that in a lot of ways, except our vantage point is right in the midst of the mess, often with no idea how things are going to come together. From our perspective, it looks like it is not going to turn out. That mistake I made, or the detour I took seems to have made it impossible for me to recover. But the Creator knows that the mess is part of the process. He says to you don’t despair, and don’t let frustration pull you under… I know the plans I have for you.

Life is drastically more difficult when we spend our days fighting against the plan of God. In his plan, aligned with his purpose, is provision and power to overcome whatever is happening in this moment, because He ALWAYS finishes on time; and because he made us, His plan will ALWAYS be the best possible outcome for our lives.

For Jacob…

I’ve been thinking a lot about Black men and how they are perceived by the rest of the world, how they are perceived by us (black women/the black community), and even how they perceive one another. It’s something to possess extraordinary greatness and be plagued by the frustration of trying to grab hold of what you know is meant for you; that thing for which you were born, but it remains just out of reach. It has to be equally frustrating to try to express what is in your heart, your true reasons and desires, only to be misunderstood or dismissed by those who don’t know you but judge you, and those who love you, but still don’t understand.

I’ve been thinking about Jacob. Jacob is the father of the Nation of Israel, you can find his story in the Book of Genesis, beginning around chapter 25. The thing about Jacob, is his story is told as the tale of two people. A low-down dirty trickster who would deceive his own family to get what he wanted, and a changed man (renamed Israel) who wrestled with God and was never the same. It’s the original Jacob that has been on my mind a lot lately.

He came into the world inferior. He was not the firstborn, and not entitled to all of the rights, responsibilities, honor and respect due to a firstborn son in any family during that time. But it was foretold as these twins struggled in the womb, that the younger, the second, Jacob was chosen.

It’s almost as if he heard and knew what was rightfully his from the start. Coming out of the womb he reached and grabbed hold of his brother Esau’s heel. He showed tenacity and strength even as he entered the world, but it’s possible that even then it was viewed as aggression or another unfavorable trait. Sound familiar?

As his story unfolded, it seemed that most of the world forgot about what was prophesied of Jacob, that he was chosen, special and great, and he seemed to spend his life struggling to reconcile what was inside of him– what he knew deep down, and how he was treated by the rest of the family and those who knew him. He was a prince, but all indications were that he was not the one to be valued or esteemed. He was dismissed and likely told to prepare to assume his rightful place in submission to his elder brother. But he knew that there was more to him than people were able to see or appreciate.

I’m sure his mother remembered, as mothers do, and she saw like only she could beyond the facts of his birth into the heart of his struggle. She saw who he was to become, and the seeds of greatness that were already beginning to sprout in his life. Mother and son were driven to secure for Jacob the place that they knew God had meant for him, but lacking wisdom, patience and trust in God, they went about it in a way that was destructive and painful to all involved.

What a mess! Their efforts only lead to further misunderstanding and alienation, eventually driving Jacob to run away for his life, falling into utter despair, depression and suffering consequences as he worked hard to get ahead. But those with the upper hand, namely his uncle, took advantage of his hard work and the unique favor on his life, while never affording him the recognition or advancement that he so deserved. Jacob worked twice as hard, twice as long, only to be grudgingly given what he had more than earned. Sound familiar?

But Jacob was chosen.

The greatness that was in his heart, that he fought so hard to attain was placed there by none other than God himself. The inability of some and the refusal of others to see and recognize who he really was didn’t change what God intended for him from the beginning. In fact, God allowed the rejection and the harsh treatment because it was a part of his journey. When it was time, things lined up like they were intended to be all along. The tragedy became sweet at the end of the story in a way that pain of a past that can’t be changed is felt, but the value of that pain is apparent.

You are chosen, Jacob. One day you will see in reality what you’ve always known in your heart. Your process and your pain won’t continue forever, but the darkness will give way to a light so bright and a future much greater than what you could have imagined. And you will know that you were created for this purpose and this time, and you were known and loved from the very start.

You are chosen.

Trust God with Your Past

Life has always been uncertain, but with the ongoing pandemic we have a heightened awareness and constant reminders of just how fragile it really is.  During times like these, most who know the Word of God and the character of God know that we should place our trust in Him.  We can base this trust, not only on His Word, but on our personal experiences with God in times of trouble and uncertainty.  We are compelled by the greatness of the problem we’re facing and our inability to control or mitigate any of it, to simply trust God.

Trusting God is always the answer, even when we feel we have options and our destiny is in our own hands.  In times when even those who love Him are inclined to lean to their own understanding, He alone remains in control at every turn.

As I prayed to God about trusting Him, and I reflected on my lack of trust in certain situations, he impressed upon me the real depth of this trust thing and what real trust in God should look like for me personally.  I was praying about trusting God in the present and for the future, and working through “casting all my care on Him”… when the more I prayed, I began to see that in order to trust God with my present and my future, I had to first trust Him with my past.

If you’re like me, the past holds for you a lot of moments and events that in hindsight seem to have been hindrances to your progress.  We could all spend a good deal of time saying, “If I hadn’t made that decision, ” or “If this person hadn’t done (A, B, or C).”  The past is full of turning points and crucial moments where we could’ve gone another way and perhaps changed the entire trajectory of our lives.  When dealing with the past, I accepted a long time ago that it cannot be changed.  But another fact about the events of the past is that God knew already what would be before it occurred.  Not bound by time, He sees the end from the beginning.  He had taken my entire past into consideration when he chose to love and accept me.  He saw my lowest moments, and my highest achievements and everything in between before I was ever born, and none of it changed his mind.  He knows the tragedies, the depths of despair, the rejections, the weaknesses… all of it.

So since He knew those things and allowed them to be, I can release them.  I can clear the space in my mind that is cluttered with “If only…” and turn it over to Him.  I can trust that He has always had the plan for my life and just like He knows where I am at this very moment, He knows the path that brought me here.  He sacrificed His only Son, whose blood cleansed me from the guilt and shame of the past that tried to stain me.  His scars are proof that He has healed my scars.  All that remains is gratefulness that the same God who was there when I didn’t know to trust Him, and when I knew better and still didn’t trust Him, is here and deserving of my complete trust now and forever.  He has proven himself dependable, a shelter, a friend and a Father.  I trust his love for me, I trust His wisdom in plotting the course of my life, I trust his timing in everything.  He is able to protect and sustain me and bring about His best in my life.

Oh for grace to trust Him more!

As They Went…

“And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests.  And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed.”

Luke 17:14

As I approach mile marker 42 on the journey of my life, I’m amazed at how my perspective on life as a whole has changed.  My understanding of who I am, where I belong and my relationships with others has transformed drastically in what seems to be a very short time.  I am sure I have not yet arrived at who I shall be, and I may look back at this moment and see that I had only scratched the surface, but I think it’s valuable to take a moment and document progress and perspective.

The scripture above taken from Luke’s account of the healing of the ten lepers, is a familiar one to me.  As a child I remember my dad explaining that some healing or deliverance takes place, not instantaneously, but as you go.  It sounds good in theory, but I just recently started to understand what that means in real life application.  In order to experience an “as they went” or “as you go” type of deliverance, it is crucial that you “Go”, meaning actually move in the direction of your healing with obedient intent, even before any of your conditions show signs of improving.

It’s fascinating to me, though frustrating, that the very thing required to begin to experience some relief from whatever circumstance happens to be troubling or oppressing us is the very thing that feels least possible in those intense moments.  People always advise someone battling feelings associated with failure or setbacks to keep moving, or don’t let it get you down.  But to actually experience those very real feelings backed by very real experiences, is to understand that it takes more than a pep talk to launch back into the fight and go after it like losing is not an option, when painful losses are so fresh and real, that it seems their teeth are still buried in your flesh.  The sound of hurtful words has left the air but they still ring in your ears, and seem to have grown actual fists that gut punch you when you dare even dream of moving forward.  Sometimes it’s that intense.

I’ve found that in these hard times we tend to look to God for sympathy or even question his presence, wondering if he really sees or understands and why he allows life to overwhelm us.  Why doesn’t he intervene when it seems to be so obviously more than I can handle?

If you can’t tell, I am speaking from experience.  This is a battle I know all to well.  Finally, after many cycles of attempts and failure or progress and setbacks, I reached a simple truth, one that was there all along.  God is a God of principle.  We are people of emotion, flawed logic, manipulation, and the list goes on… but God?  He’s consistently a God of principle.  Applying His principles is a guide to moving forward through any circumstance.

So the other day I was listening to a message from Priscilla Shirer, and a principle jumped out at me.  She was recounting the details of the parable of the talents, and prefaced it by saying, “God hates passivity”.  She proved her point by illustrating that each servant in the story was given something to invest, but the one who was given only one talent went and buried it and accomplished nothing while the Master was away.  I’ve always marveled at the Master’s response to this servant,

But his master answered him, You wicked and lazy and idle servant! Did you indeed know that I reap where I have not sowed and gather [grain] where I have not winnowed?

…so take the talent away from him and give it to the one who has ten talents. 

,,,And throw the good-for-nothing servant into outer darkness; there will be weeping and grinding of teeth

Matthew 25:26, 28, 30

It seemed kind of harsh to me, until I understood the principle.  God will not tolerate passivity.  He is loving and giving, and not only has placed in us everything we need to go forward, but He has made himself available for support, wisdom and constant unfailing, unconditional love.  He only asks that we take the steps we can, even if we feel it’s not enough or won’t make a difference.  The miracle is all wrapped up in the “going”.  He promises to keep us from falling, hold us up with His right hand, order our steps, be a lamp to our feet, a present help in trouble… He only asks us to get going!

Our “going” is evidence of our faith.  We can talk faith all day, but the only proof we have that we have faith is that we actually make a move and keep moving.  “We walk by faith…” because you may not even clearly see the first step, but by the time you make the second, He’s provided for that one and your faith has gone before you and is trusting for the very next step.  Sometimes it’s like that.  Sometimes we can see clearly for miles and obstacles pop up to startle us in mid-stride.  Sometimes they knock us down or back a few steps, but as we go we find that we are not just “going”…

….but we are “becoming”.

Stronger.  Wiser.  Better.

Get going!

The Depth of Surrender

There are a lot of benefits to obeying God and doing things his way.  We can see many of them outlined in the bible, and if you’ve been on this journey for even a short time, I’m sure you can list many of your own.  On the surface alone, I can make a compelling case for why there’s no other life I’d rather live than a life of obedience to God.

But there’s more to it than that…

Our response to God’s way has implications more far-reaching than we can imagine, even those of us who have extensive experience walking with God.  There are levels to it, as they say.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

God’s plan and knowledge are so infinitely greater than what we can comprehend, that we only seek to scratch the surface in our pursuit of knowing Him.  He created us with great capabilities to analyze and weigh our choices, so when we approach his ways or requirements of us as his people, we often do so with that same analytical mind.  And it works, for the most part, because God has an impeccable track record and one can easily see that following his plan yields the promised results.

But it also yields something deeper.  Our obedience to God is impactful to our existence on a level we can only grasp at understanding.  God knows so much more than we do about who we are at our core, the purpose for which he carefully designed each of us, and exactly what the future holds.  When we yield to his way and do even the small things he requires, we do more to build His Kingdom in and around us than all of our conscious, intentional efforts combined.  Our souls are strengthened in ways we have yet to discover.  Not to mention the ripple effect to everyone we encounter or to whom we are connected, none of which is a coincidence to God.

God’s way is so simple, that it’s often misunderstood by our attempts to complicate it.  Our simple act of obedience and submission to God makes huge strides that we don’t even see because they appear so small and trivial in our realm of existence.  But that’s how the vast Kingdom of God works– on the principle of obedience.

And he said, Whereunto shall we liken the kingdom of God? or with what comparison shall we compare it? It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when it is sown in the earth, is less than all the seeds that be in the earth: But when it is sown, it groweth up, and becometh greater than all herbs, and shooteth out great branches; so that the fowls of the air may lodge under the shadow of it. 

Mark 4:30-32

It is an act of our faith to obey God and follow His way because though we can’t fully grasp the extent of his plan, we trust that His way is the best for us.  And being who He is, He is faithful to manage all of the intricate, far-reaching details and bring to pass something greater than we can even fathom.  No matter how deep He asks us to go in our faithfulness to Him, God goes even deeper in unfolding his eternal purpose.

The Bigger Picture

Two nights ago, I had a dream that was very troubling to me.  In the dream, someone close to me suddenly began rejecting and excluding me in a very cold and nonchalant manner.  When I awoke from the dream, I knew God was speaking to me through it, and I immediately felt terrible.  I fought the urge to call the person and tell them the dream (part of me wanted to be reassured) because deep down I knew God was giving me the foresight to prepare me for change.  Though still deeply troubled, I asked God to help me.

Over the course of the next day, I began to understand the changes that need to take place, and they had more to do with me and my preparation for the purpose and life God intends for me in the future.  You see, historically I’ve always reached for a person, especially during extremely difficult seasons in my life.  I wanted the reassurance of feeling valued and loved just for being me.  Though I’ve experienced some great relationships, they have always fallen short of filling the void.  I’m sure that was intentional on God’s part, but it also silently shouted that I was somehow not enough to have those meaningful, fulfilling and mutual relationships.  Every rejection somehow affirmed that nagging suspicion that there’s something wrong with me.  I now know that the suspicion and the affirmation were both false.

They say that your hardest battles are fought in the areas where you are truly gifted and favored.  It’s almost as if there is a plot and the experience is a grand production bent on convincing you that this is not for you.  Like there’s an outside force intent on making you spend as much time as possible questioning yourself and fearing the worst,

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly – John 10:10

In the bigger picture, there is a war going on.  It’s an all-out attack on your mind FOR your mind.  It’s actually a brilliant strategy.  If your enemy can make you believe in your mind that you are incapable, inferior and nothing special, you will destroy yourself with the slow and steady poison of doing and being less than who you were created to be.  No fulfillment, just one distraction after another.

In reality, every rejection is simply a step in the journey.  Sometimes it’s a re-direction or adjustment in focus.  Ultimately, like everything in life that causes us pain, it is a tool in the hand of God.  As unpleasant as it may feel, it is not meant to paralyze, but to push us to make changes.

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. -Psalm 30:5

Once the necessary adjustments are made, we grow into a new space; one where it becomes more clear why letting go of the old space, though painful, was necessary.  The experience of the new now makes the old look painful and cramped.  On this side of the struggle it seemed silly to resist a change that was so worth it in the end.  This continual process where new becomes old, and we are pushed again first into discomfort and then a new realization is how we are changed from glory to glory.

Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.  But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord. -II Corinthians 3:17, 18

Keep Going

Sometimes the very thing that you were created to be, seems like the least likely or possible.

Keep going.

Some days it feels that your wheels are just spinning in place and your efforts are leading nowhere fast.

Keep trying.

Some seasons seem dry, and though you try to keep a positive outlook and hold on to your faith, you feel weaker and don’t know how much longer you will last.

Keep holding on.

When you can’t see it, feel it or figure it out… KNOW it.

Know that He who has begun a GOOD work in you SHALL perform it.  (Philippians 1:6)

Know that He is God. (Psalms 46:10)

Know that at any moment EVERYTHING can change and the breakthrough that has eluded you for so long will overtake you.

Know that it’s all working for GOOD.  (Romans 8:28)

Know that in due season, you’ll reap a harvest if you don’t quit. (Galatians 6:9)

Keep going.